Genitals do not exist in India

It is quite ironical that the organs responsible for the perpetuation of human life, and a source of great pleasure to us all are treated as non-existent in our culture. And this is in a country, where images and statues of the ling proliferate homes, temples, markets and minds.

A therapist friend of mine recently held a month long workshop for bright and intelligent college students who had opted for a training in sexual abuse. She asked them to take turns in drawing the human body on a blackboard, labeling each part. While all of them displayed great drawing and labeling skills, each of these bright students conveniently forgot to point out the genitals. Is it that genitals do not exist in India, or is it that they are a vestigial organ that we have been taught to ignore.

I was at a Vipassana retreat recently. Mr Goenka’s voice bellowed from the tape recorder, “Feel every part of your body – the ankles, the calf muscles, the thighs, the back, the chest, chin, ears, forehead, head, etc.” At the end of the sermon , I felt very confused. He had instructed us to feel every part of the body, and while he had mentioned each of these parts, he had forgotten to mention the genitals. Was I supposed to feel the genitals or not? It was perplexing. At the end of the meditation session, I walked up to the teacher, and asked her in a hushed voice, ‘Are we supposed to feel our genitals as well?” She whispered back, “Yes, he said very part of the body.”  Damn it! Why did he not mention it then!

The Trauma of Peeing

Disclaimer : The theme has been picked up from TheLadiesFinger.com, but the stories are my own

I once asked a female friend, How an orgasm feels like to her? She replied. “have you ever held your pee back for very long, and then got an opportunity to pee? That feeling is very similar to feeling of an orgasm.”  I totally agree with her.

Being a woman in India,  I have gone through the intense trauma of holding back my pee for hours many a times. Some of my pee adventures have left a permanent scar on my brains as well as my kidneys:

1)      I was driving back from a meeting in West Delhi to our office in South Delhi, with my boss, a  male chauvinist of moronic proportions. After accepting that I could not bear the pee- withholding trauma any longer, I informed him coyly about my urgent need to pee. The bastard responded with a big smirk on his face, “Aah, but there is no place we can stop. You will have to wait till the office.” After this he unleashed a repertoire of disgusting pee jokes.

2)      My two female friends were in urgent need to pee. We were on the service lane next to Deer Park. There was not enough time to look for a civilized loo. I parked the car in the service lane, and opened both the doors of my car on the side facing the park. My friends squatted between the open doors, while I kept a strict vigilance on passerbys. Luckily, I had toilet paper in the car. As soon as the job was done, my friends dashed into the car and I lost no time in pressing the accelerator. We joked about the incident for days.

3)      New Years – 2012. A female friend, my boyfriend and I were headed towards Defence Colony for dinner on New Year’s Eve. The female friend announced that she could not hold her pee back anymore. We stopped the car in a dark corner, and the friend peed just as the clock struck midnight, and the world moved into the New Year. What a unique way to start the Year.. with relief!!!

4)      2013- Bus trip to Jaipur for the Literature Festival: I was dying to pee. I knew the bus would not stop for another 2-3 hours as we had already made a stop. The pee pressure however lent me enough courage to wake down the aisle to the bus driver, and order him to stop the bus. The driver stopped the bus a few yards ahead. All the passengers looked surprised as I raced down the steps and into the fields, looking for a private spot. A little while later, I climbed back into the bus with the look of nirvana on my face. I could see the passengers staring hard at me. I did not care.