Big Me and Little Me

There is two of us

a big me and a little me

Big me tries to keep little me happy

Sometimes, big me succeeds, sometimes big me fails

When big me understands little me, we are happy

When big me does not, we are sad and angry

When little me understands big me, we are peaceful

When little me does not, we are sad and angry

So complex is this parenting

the bridging of the gap between big me and little me

Restless

My hands got to keep doing

My mouth got to keep chewing

My mind got to keep thinking

I try, so hard to be in the here and now

To soak in the air, flowers and the conversations

To let go - of this fiddling, chewing, thinking

And when that doesn't happen, which is frequent enough

I learn to soothe myself.

To say it is OK, its just me, that we shall begin again

But something, someone deep inside

Keeps bringing up a complaint, every now and then

That all is not OK - this book, this place, this milk shake.. something, anything.

Sometimes, I manage to say it is OK the way it is

The other times, I float into that world of "not OK"

I am a frequent visitor there

Got my own special VIP pass for the place.