Poems

A Million Mirrors

In a million mirrors that surround me

I see reflections of shame that inhabit me

Don't do this, Don't do that ; cry out the voices aloud

Voices from past, voices from present

Labeling for me all as right or wrong

The desire is there but the shame is too strong

As I chase these inner labyrinths of shame

I discover light on the other side

A light, bright and beautiful and simply divine

Yet in this knowledge I still stumble

I fall in my shame but now I know better

I rise again to follow its path

To experience more of the light on the other side

Bring me Alive

He asked me what brings me alive?

My greatest joys, my greatest fears

My hope of life, my fear of life

What makes my heart thump fast and fast?

What makes me feel the angriest of all?

What makes me fearful like a rat?

What makes me feel ashamed enough to hide?

What makes me happiest of all?

For these are the crevices where the light hides !!!

A Strange Loving Paradox

A moment of confusion, a moment of choice

His heart loves her but has doubts in mind

This way or that way

"Lord show me the way"

She is beautiful, but also so wild

She is angelic, but also so mad

I love her wildness, I love her madness

But her wildness and madness make me feel so mad

So much uncertainty, too much to bear

I would rather let her go than live with this fear

How dare he not love me for who I am !!!

So wild and vibrant and full of life

How can his doubts question my light?

I will find me a man who will trust me as Divine

With these words ended a love so bright !!!

However nature has its own course to take

Experiences recycled till the lesson is learnt

A different game board, but the game is same

Yesterday you defend, today you oppose

She met a man who loved her as Divine

Took delight in her games - wild and mad

But this time she was on the opposite side

And the same questions plagued her mind

The doubts she had questioned earlier were now hers to own

For her man had more wildness and madness than she had known

Her heart loved him but her minds had doubts

The questions that threatened to still the light

Such is the strangeness of life my friend

Experiences recycled till the lesson is learnt

Just Me

As I gather the pieces, I find myself
As I find new pieces, I lose myself
The anagrams creating different moods forever

Fear, love

Fragmentation, integration
Self-love, self-hatred
All come in waves

Oh how I yearn to stand still
And watch the sands of time pass by
Just be me, just me !!!

Die Peaceful

What makes you think you will die a peaceful man?

With anger and hurt buried deep inside !!!

Do you feel you have forgiven?

Then look within?

Look at all that which makes you hurt and angry and sad

And you will discover

Stories carried from decades back

With anger and hurt buried deep inside

Then what makes you think you will die a peaceful man?

 Sickness

My heart wrapped up in its own sickness
I am unable to face the mirror, no more
I hasten my steps to listen to you
For I cannot bear to listen to me no more

I continue to walk to the edges of the world
Searching for that elusive potion
Bottles, books, flutes, and colors, all I try
Still that sickness continues to grow

The Game

Deep recesses of darkness linger within

Searching for a ray to show me the way, I feel even more lost

Illusions and mirages continue to shatter me

In pursuit of the miracle forever

Hope lost and found everyday

Now I have it and now I don't

The game continues to play out

No winners, no losers, it is just a game

Pearls of Gold

Let the golden words spring out
and let them fetch me some gold ;

i will consider my pain

justified when my pain brings forth pearls of gold

The Shore

The shore screams for stillness

As the waves beat upon it relentless

The shore prays for calmness

As the waves go about their labor diligent 

The Path

He asked me, "You want to be happy or you want to be right?"

Many years back I chased happiness

Just like my cat chases the fly

I thought I had it, but I had it not

Today, I try to live by what is right

As seers tell me it is the path

Everyday I feel short

Caught up somewhere between being happy and being right

As the Fog lifts ( 1-05-14)

As the fog lifts
I come alive

The interplay of lights
The dance of colours
The images formed by shadows
The distinct shades of green

The humming of the birds
The rustling of the leaves
The taste of the fruit
The feel of the breeze

All messages - of love and hope
Of a Creator - artistic and expressive

What stops me from following in the footsteps of the Creator
What keeps me from staying expressive and joyous

As the fog lifts
I come alive

Walk On

Endearing visions
Trumpets of love
Beckoned me
To a place far off;

I walk on
Searching for that redemption of my vision
Heart-broken, joyous; hopeless, hopeful
An atheist, a faithful
I walk on

In a blessed moment I open my eyes
To witness blossoms of love surround me on all sides

Aah! Had I been able to keep my eyes open
I needn't still be walking on

Perfection

Dazed by the beauty of the rose,
I perceive in it perfection
As I stoop to catch its attention,
I prick my finger on its imperfection

Songs of Joy

No more books

And no more lessons

I just play and sing

And yell and dance

Oh friends, I have come to love myself

Blessed be this sickness

For in it have I found some stillness

Words springing to life through this quietude

Ushering in a season of resonance

Holding strong, sitting tight

I keep guard on what is within me

While the wise one sitting in the corner

Is busy doling out more of him

Oh brother, forgive me

I cannot join you in your misery

For my heart is busy

In singing songs of joy

Yellow mustard, green fields

flowing rivers, blue skies

Everyday a symphony of a new kind

A vast concert, instruments plenitude

Do you see misery? They ask me

Where is it? I ask them

Look at me, look around you, and look within you

Isn’t that all you find?

But when I looked all I could find was my heart singing to butterflies’ fluttering

I wake up in the morning and ask the Sun,

“What melodies are we going to play today?”

 Yesterday choices were confusion

Today choices mean freedom

Am I trying to bring together parts of me?

Or am I wanting to let go of some more of me?

Oh Madonna you inspire me

And in that inspiration, I feel smaller everyday

Round and round on the roundabout I go

The swing turns faster with every turn

Now was childhood, and now old age

What has changed, not much that I know!!!

Brutalized, brutal

I embrace both

As I find both the comrades within

My enemies, my buddies

My own thoughts

The whole Universe lives therien

Sitting at the altar of prayer

Feeling diminished by my insignificance

Working harder to feel significant

Have I ever fooled myself more?